Sunday, August 29, 2010

Easy Breezy

If I were a betting woman, I'd wager the last time you were in a room full of chandeliers you were having a pretty good time, right? Maybe you were at a wedding or a Bat Mitzvah or boring work related event made better by cocktails. Whatever the occasion, I am sure it it was an event, however predictable, worthy of being held in a ballroom.
The ballroom above, stripped of it's centerpieces and pink bows, of course, plays host to what is quite possibly the strangest bi-annual meeting I attend and it is in no way a chandelier worthy affair. Yesterday the Northern Illinois Soccer League held it's fall scheduling meeting in this sparkly room to allow various club representatives the opportunity to decode cryptic proposed game schedules like the one below.
Picture this: Twenty-Four tables are jammed into a steaming hot ballroom and hold representatives from six teams each. We, the club reps, have to make sure our teams can make the proposed games. If a team can't you have to decide between the two teams when and where to move it. When you agree on a new date and time you write it on an orange card in the center of the table. Now, this process, reminiscent of the antiquated college add/drop system, doesn't sound all that daunting until you consider the realities of the situation.

I am pretty much ALWAYS the only girl at the table (consequently I always wear pink to this meeting), with out fail there is sure be a substantial language barrier between two or more teams, and it is guaranteed there will be a team in each bracket whose coach oversees thirty-eight teams and can never ever play a single game. Seriously, not ever. The man who coaches the thirty-eight teams will also be the guy who does not have a calendar with him. On the upside, however, there is also always a hot young coach at the table to provide ample distraction during these boring negotiations.

Yesterday, I dressed up in my pink attire and hammered out a game schedule with The Force, Raptors, and even some Wildcats. Finn's team will be traveling to Geneva, Rockford, and St. Charles among several other glamorous locations this season. The hottie coach at my table called me "Easy Breezy" and made it much easier for me to deal with the the coach who would not could not ever play our required game. At one point another team rep "suggested" I assume the role of secretary for the group and collect every one's contact information and send it out via email. I offered to "write my contact information in my nice pretty penmanship on his schedule", but informed him I did not feel the need to be responsible for the group as a whole. My hottie coach nodded and his smile indicated he approved of my feminist stance. I think he totally understood I spend all of my spare time looking for the missing stinky shin guard buried somewhere in my minivan.

At the end of the hour our trusty group of six teams had worked out 60 games between us and we left looking forward to the start of the season. What makes it all the more impressive is the simple fact more than one thousand teams are represented in eight groups in that sparkly ballroom during the course of the day! So if you ever wondered how your kid's travel soccer schedule comes to be, now you know it happens in a room full of chandeliers in sunny Shaumburg. Easy Breezy!


Nubia said...

I wish I had a pic of you in your pink outfit....that's awesome. Go fearless warrior!!!

Anonymous said...

Melissa Wonderfully humorous Tres
Erma Bombeck. Hey love, can I order a copy of last year/s book? How much?

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