Thursday, January 21, 2010

For the love crocs...

I have professed my love and loyalty to the ugly croc on this blog once before, but after serving as a buffer from being electrocuted in the street, I really didn't think I'd ever find myself in a situation that would require me to express gratitude for these holey orange rubber shoes again. But I have.

I admit my volunteering has spun out of control on several occasions. I have, in the past, glued my fingers together making hundreds of Diwali candles, assembled countless microscopic tamale type things called humitas, and filled more than a few plastic ketchup bottles with Atomic Fireballs all in the name of helping worthy organizations. I have run a committee that should honestly inspire the next Christopher Guest film and I know the importance of carrying a pocket copy of Robert's Rules of Order...seriously.
I am a seasoned volunteer.
My motto should be will work for free.

I am particularly devoted to our local elementary school; after eight years of volunteering at Irving, I thought there wasn't much they could throw at me that would surprise me.
Until today...
Today, I was called upon to help with preparations for a Zero Waste Grant Irving is in the process of applying for. I jumped right on board because I am all about going green.
I just didn't the think "green" in this volunteer opportunity referred to the peas in the lunchroom trash or me turning a putrid shade of green, but dude it totally did.
I spent a good portion of my afternoon sorting and weighing the garbage produced by the school in one day. I started easy with paper and junk mail and rapidly moved up the ladder (with a few hearty souls) to the lunch room waste.
OMG...can you say five garbage cans full of chicken nuggets, bologna, cheese, half eaten apples, soggy cookies, solidified macaroni and cheese, yogurt cups, cans, napkins, Cheetos, and one uneaten Butterfingers. As we started schlepping this slop I was never so happy to have laytex gloves and rubber shoes in my life. I also have to say I was really grateful it was not Salisbury steak, Sloppy Joes, or spaghetti and meatballs day in the lunch least chicken nuggets are solid...that is the best thing I can say about them.
In the end we ended up with more than 15 pounds of wasted milk, countless sporks, more than 50 pounds of paper, and about 3 zillion peas.
Parents...if you think your kid is eating their lunch...I am here to tell you they are not.
On a personal note:
You see that unopened yogurt by my orange croc...the one next to that bag of half eaten meat and diary? That yogurt was from Finn's lunch and I totally sorted it out of the garbage.
Can you say busted?
Needless to day I totally freaked Finn out when I told him I found his uneaten yogurt while I was digging through the garbage at his school today. Mom's don't get much cooler than me and no-one can accuse me of failing to go the extra mile to find out if my kids are eating their healthy lunches.
I am pretty sure this particular type of parental sleuthing will be a one time only effort.
This was a Big Yuck.
I hope this grant gets funded.
A lot.


Mary said...

Oh dear, you're a good women. Was afraid there would be food digging.Did you find the yogurt in Finn's bag in the garbage? How do you know it was his? That is hilarious. I am now off to volunteer at our elementary school, but in a much cleaner capacity...the kindergarten classroom

Penny said...

You need to treat yourself to a long bubble bath tonight, lady!! I gagged just looking at those pictures. Thank you for taking one for the team (which I will officially be on next year....yikes)!

Nubia said...

Craziness!!!! LOL....I can only begin to imagine Finn's face. Priceless :)

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